This is going to be a trying time emotionally and financially for most people. Starting the divorce process is financially daunting, especially if you are a student, a stay at home parent, or a part-time employee. Even for those with a steady income, the whole process hits the pocketbook. There are lots of costs that people do not think about: moving costs, buying new or replacement furniture, personal goods (pots and pans!), refinancing cars or homes, missed work for court or meetings, etc. These are things that you cannot get around but are necessary.
If you are in fear of harm or serious injury if you try to separate from your partner make a plan of where to go first: find friends and family who will help you or contact a local domestic violence shelter.
So what can you do to help ease the costs? Here’s a few things from my experience that has helped my clients prior to and during the process:
Figure out where to stay.
Figuring out who is moving out of the home can be easier without kids, but it is a discussion that needs to be had. This isn’t always an option if it gets dropped on your lap or something drastic happens. There are
situations where you may not want to move and that will come down to talking with an attorney. Look into apartments and costs of living so you know what you need to get by if you’re not staying in the home. Lots of people I know find furniture (especially kid’s beds), pots and pans, and other gently used household items on Facebook, Nextdoor, and other social media and sharing platforms. Make a list of what you need versus what you want from the home.
Employer legal assistance programs.
See if you have an employer assistance program to help with legal fees. If you can, try to start saving as much as you can per month or ask family for help upfront. Spare or extra furniture from family and friends may go a long way when you first move out. You’ll need things like pots and pans, bedding, chairs; not to mention cleaning supplies, food, and toiletries.
Consult with an attorney.
Some attorneys do free consults and some charge for their time. I charge a consult fee of $100.00 and then apply it to the first invoice. Like me, some attorneys may offer payment options. Talk to several attorneys and find one you want to work with. At my consults, we talk about legal costs and what the process looks like in addition to your rights and what is in your best interests.
Try mediation before filing.
If you and your spouse can amicably discuss terms through mediation, you might consider a limited representation or flat rate options. If everything is settled in court, most attorneys will do a flat rate to prepare and file your agreement with the court. If that still costs too much or you only have a few sticking points, an attorney can draft everything you need, provide you with paperwork to fill out and get notarized, then you take it to court to represent yourself. While it isn’t ideal, you have at least gotten legal advice based on your situation and you can go back to that attorney for help later.
Ask your attorney for payment options.
Sometimes there is no getting around the costs because things are contentious. Ask your attorney about temporary maintenance or support or early division of some assets that you can liquidate. Ask your attorney about putting a lien on assets you’re set to receive. If you know the house is going to be sold and you will receive money from the sale, your attorney can take their cut from that at the end instead. Family law attorneys cannot do anything on contingency, so if you do not receive that money you will still be obligated to pay your attorney first.